As I sit here contemplating what Father would have me to write, I look back to my comments on this portion during the summer of 2011. In the body of my comments, I put forth a parallel between the 42 campsites for the children of Israel and the 42 campsites SueJean and I had traveled to since beginning our ministry in 2009. Among those comments, I have chosen the paragraph below to begin this writing.
[In light of Deuteronomy 8: 2-3, Father is merely giving us a "report card" on our progress. He has tested us these last two plus years "to know what was in (our) heart, whether (we) would keep His commandments or not". It is rather likely our next campsite will be in the winter wilderness of Alaska--the first of maybe another 42.]
In considering the scope of my comments, I realize this is the first time since "Massei" in the summer of 2011 that I have posted any writings to my blog. Regardless of the reasons for the absence, Father truly has been testing us (especially me) "to know what was in (our) heart").
Even with the calling, and a myriad of confirmations, to leave Georgia and travel to Alaska during the summer of 2011, I personally accepted it with a degree of apprehension. Since I handle most of the financial aspects of our family and ministry, I knew we would likely be financially "behind the 8-ball" when we got here. In fact, we spent all the cash we had on hand and spent the first half of the summer paying off the credit card that helped finish the journey.
As I look back on that spring and summer, I must admit I was not all that happy about making the trip. I further remember thinking, "surely Father wouldn't want us to stay there for the winter. After all, He knows our home is an RV and the only LOGICAL decision would be to return to the southern part of the lower 48 for the winter".
As the summer of 2011 waned away, we became more aware by the day that His purpose was for us to remain in Alaska. At first, I personally accepted the challenge with a degree of bravado. In reality, while the bravado helped raise my level of faith a degree or two, it only served to cover my personal fears and, for a time, my resistance to Father's leading. Both would eventually cause me to be the recipient of a series of very painful and humiliating lessons.
After leaving Tok in mid August 2011, we traveled north to tour the Fairbanks area for a week or so. We continued our tour south from there to Wasilla to visit some dear friends that were instrumental in helping us with our Alaska journey. While spending about a week there, the thought of heading back to the southern 48 was still rumbling around in our minds.
I am so thankful SueJean has a sensitivity for the leading of the Holy Spirit. I am a long-time Baptist and, like a vast majority of Baptists, I have very little perception of such a Spirit leading. In fact, most Baptists I have known will ask you to leave their church if you talk too much about such ideals, especially if you start speaking in tongues.
With that said, my mind set has been based more on what I see with my eyes, or physical circumstances. While in Georgia, I was in the middle of the "Bible belt". It was the deep south and my country music, especially Johnny Cash, was readily and graciously accepted. By April of 2011, I had made three appearances on radio and television and was the headline singer for the City of Colquitt Mayhaw festival.
With the possibilities that could spring from that time of just a few months, It should be understood why I would be a "tough nut to crack" in deciding to go to Alaska. Even though I did give in to the call, it would not be the last time I would see that test placed before me. Be assured, Father will not allow partial or halfhearted obedience to His direction.
While in Wasilla last fall, we looked for doors to open for ministry and music. For my "physical eyes", the answer was clear. There are two country music radio stations in Wasilla/Anchorage area. To my delight, the Wasilla radio station plays all "classic country", especially Johnny Cash. For me, it was a "slam dunk". Surely we could find a music gig somewhere. Besides, Wasilla is a rich place because it has both a Wally World AND a Burger King. Now, what more could one leaving Egypt behind ask for?
Because SueJean observes more with her "spiritual eyes", with no open doors in Wasilla, and the idea of returning to the lower 48 now to the fore front of our minds, we decided to give Alaska one more chance to open a door to us. Because of SueJean's research, it was determined the absolute best place in Alaska for us to survive a winter in our RV would be to the extreme southwest in Homer.
We decided to make a 4-5 day trip to test the waters in what the locals call the "banana republic of Alaska". Although it does get cold in Homer, the weather is rather mild, especially near the bay. If we were going to survive a winter in Alaska, it would have to be in Homer. All we needed was an open door for our music.
SueJean sent a few e-mails to contacts we had in Homer. With our conception that a ship's course is more easily adjusted when in motion, we set out on the two day journey with no idea what we might find. If we were unsuccessful, then we would give Wasilla one more chance on our way back to the lower 48.
As I look back on that decision, it's a good thing we proceeded according to SueJean's "spiritual eyes". On the morning of the second day of the journey, I received a call from one of our contacts. Father provided our music gig before we even got to our destination. Also, depending upon the person we talked to, Homer/Wasilla/Anchorage experienced the worst winter in 50 years. We would never have made it in Wasilla, nearly 300 miles to the north.
That winter brought out possibly the harshest test Father had given me to that point. The fall went fairly smooth with rather mild temperatures, even with a little snow in November. I can handle that. I grew up in central Illinois, and lived in Denver for six years. "Hey, this really isn't that bad", I thought. Little did I know what was coming.
In late December, it started snowing again, this time at a 4-6 inch per day clip--for 24 straight days. January was the coldest month in Alaska history. Many days the wind came off the bay at as much as a 50-60 MPH clip. Snow was blowing literally sideways. Until I was able to acquire proper shoe cleats, it was not uncommon for my head to wind up where my feet were supposed to be, in the blink of an eye.
We had to deal with frozen sewer and water lines. We dealt with the hazard of a two wheel drive pickup truck in snow and ice--BAD thing in Alaska. We had snow chains that barely fit our vehicle and insisted upon coming off while we were driving. In the end, our RV furnace quit working in March. Our washer/dryer and hot water heater did the same in May/June.
With the harsh winter in the "banana republic", Father drew out of me some things that were huge spiritual stumbling blocks to my walk with Him. The lessons He taught were just as harsh as the weather and didn't take long to begin and would last through the to the summer.
Within a couple days of the December onslaught of snow, my rebellion to His ways came gushing out. After a few days of my face winding up in a place where my feet just occupied and trying to keep my head screwed on straight while bracing against 40-60 MPH winds, I verbally expressed that I was going to hitch up my RV and head back to the lower 48 as soon as the snow stopped.
With this verbal assertion, I denied His direction for us in Homer. I'm extremely thankful His mercy was extended to me. Many in the exodus from Egypt payed for the expression of such mind sets with their lives. ALL except Joshua and Kaleb eventually paid that price. For me, I would pay a price equal to my level of rebellion. Messiah said, "If your right eye offend you, pluck it out..."
Within a day or so of my verbal outburst, the retina in my right eye detached. Although painless, the loss of sight in that eye was quick and almost total. To compound the situation, I had a huge cataract in my left eye. Put the two together, and I was rendered almost totally blind. After insisting upon "walking by sight" and personal desires, I seemed to hear Father say, "Go ahead and hitch up now. Let's see how far you get".
After five months learning this lesson, four surgeries, and related lessons thereafter, I have sight restored in both eyes. However, the right eye may remain a little deficient, as a reminder, until the day I enter His kingdom. Needless to say, I'm guarding my tongue and attitude a little better these days. I don't wish to try Father's patience further. Otherwise, the repeated lessons would likely be far worse.
As of my writing on this portion last summer, our "report card" from Father was fairly good. Yet, there is no "status quo" in His teaching. As I found out, the next level requires tougher lessons to learn. All too many of us get to a certain level on our journey in Messiah and just camp there for the rest of our walk with Him, and stagnate to the point of uselessness.
Ultimately, our journey will find His faithful remnant in the kingdom. That trek requires complete surrender to Father's direction. There is no room in His service for those that choose to mingle personal desires with His leading. That doesn't mean we can't "stop and smell the roses" on our journey. Even so, such an extended mixture will eventually nix one's chances of entering His kingdom. If one rebels long enough, Father will just let them continue on to their demise and find someone else for the job.
It is very simple. We will experience the same tests as did our ancestors in the wilderness. We have them as an example. We know the questions AND the answers. All we need do is subordinate our own self desires and give them over to Father's leading. It may be simple, but I can attest it really isn't that easy. Human nature never is. However, it IS doable. In Yeshua, "we are made more than conquerors". His reward is held in reserve for those that "overcome".
As I have already mentioned, Father will test us again and again until He is satisfied the lessons have been properly learned. With the damage our RV sustained through the winter, and with no one apparently willing or able to affect the necessary repairs, we told our host in late June we were leaving within the week and had no choice but to return to the lower 48 to find an RV dealer that could work on our rig.
A few days thereafter, massive flooding washed out the Alaska Highway, the only way in or out of Alaska by road. Near the BC/Yukon border in Canada, the highway was closed for about 150 miles. A hundred or so travelers were stranded in between the washed out spots. Father had effectively blocked that direction, telling us clearly to "stay put".
As for needed repairs, He provided a man who was able to do the warranty work without moving the RV or tearing up our winter underpinning. Now, we're ready for a second winter in Homer. By the way, As I put the finishing touches on this article, winter has arrived in Homer. It just started snowing.
As always, SueJean and I write to be an encouragement to the many that have accessed our blog sites. SueJean's Tsiyon Bound site has drawn over ten thousand pages reads to date. My site has seen about five thousand hits. Many of those page reads have been multiple and return visit reads by the same readers. We sincerely thank each reader for their interest in our content.
We have the faith to believe many of our readers have been blessed. Yet, we are no different than any other minister. We need encouragement too. Would you take the time to write a short note in our comment sections and let us know how we have blessed you? If you have a prayer request, we would like to know that too. Thank y'all again and have a terrific Son-shine day in Messiah Yeshua!
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